Helium
by ttfan111robstar1
Summary: Misa has a nightmare. Light falls in love with her. Inspired by the song of the same name by Sia.


_She hears the crashing of the lamp on the floor, and darkness blankets the room. She cringes from her spot under the bed, her arms pressed against her ears and hands interlaced over her head as she tries to block out the sounds, but it's no good. She's cursed- has to be- because she can hear everything._

_"__Please, stop!" The shrill shriek of her mother echoes in her ears, rings there in her ear like a pair of bells._

_She doesn't want to, but she opens her eyes. The dust ruffle of the bed obscures most of her vision, and it takes her eyes a moment to adjust to the darkness, but she's certain that she sees something spatter onto the dust ruffle. She has to fight back a scream at the thought of what it is, or else she would die._

_Her mother's scream echoes through the whole house, and her world comes crashing down._

It's the scream that wakes him.

The shrill terror in that scream, the blood-curdling fear, makes him bolt awake. For a second, he believes somebody must have broken into their apartment, must have tried to hurt her, and he tries to remember where he put his death note. But when he feels the sheets moving, and sense registers with him, he looks to the side of him.

Misa was clearly in the throes of what looked to be a terrible nightmare. She was shrieking with the shrillness of a banshee. Her forehead had sweat beading on it, and tears were streaming down her face even in sleep. Though he didn't particularly have a care for her, something about letting her be tormented this way felt wrong to him in a human sense. He needed to wake her.

Gently, he shakes her shoulder. "Misa? Misa, wake up."

The scream she let out could very well burst his eardrum as she bolts upward in bed, tears streaming down her face. She looks around the room wildly, disoriented for a moment. This isn't her room at home. Then, her eyes fixate on Light sitting beside her, and reality begins to seep back into her consciousness.

"You were having a nightmare." He says.

"No." She replies quietly. "It wasn't a nightmare. It really happened."

He doesn't quite know what to say to that, now that he understands what the subject matter had been.

Misa moves to the end of the bed, puts her face in her hands, and takes in a shaking breath to try and calm down. The first thing she thinks of to say, really all she can think of other than those horrible images, is to say, "I'm sorry I woke you."

He looks at her as though she were a strange creature that he could not comprehend. "It's okay." He finds himself saying.

Misa buries her face in her hands, elbows on her knees as a sob comes out of her, followed by another, as she feels them wrack her body. The loneliness after that nightmare always breaks her worse than any other. And even though she isn't alone, that Light is right there beside her, she knows he would not comfort her.

Light watches her, unblinkingly. His head is cocked, as though observing something questionable. It is as though he was seeing her for the first time. In all the time he's known her, he's considered her a nuisance, who is foolish enough to worship and adore him. He'd never seen her in any moods other than in love with him, angry, or disappointed. To see her cry, to hear her sob, was the first time he'd ever seen her as a whole person, with thoughts and feelings and dreams, just like him.

His mind flashes back to the night they met, the story she'd told him about her parents. What had it been like for her, hiding as she heard her parents being killed? The wounds from that were sure to leave their mark. He thinks about what he might have felt like, had it been his family. Would he have turned to hero-worship as she had? Possibly. For the first time, he can understand her devotion, her love for him. Suddenly, he doesn't find it quite so foolish. He finds it understandable. It is naive, certainly, but he can work with that.

There is something about her sobs that sit badly with him. Maybe it's because of her screaming before, or maybe It's seeing her thrashing in their bed, maybe it's because he knows he isn't going to sleep unless this is resolved, or maybe it's the way the moonlight is hitting her hair that makes him see her as somebody who needs somebody. Correction- somebody who needs _him_.

He moves to the edge of the bed, and though he wonders if he's doing the right thing, he pulls her into his arms. There's something that feels strangely right about her being there. He hadn't quite realized it before, maybe because he hadn't been paying attention, but… She seemed to fit there. It was as though his arms had been shaped to hold her. He hadn't noticed before, the way her body seemed to fit into his as though it was intended to be that way.

A strange feeling courses through him, one he can't quite name. It was a curling of his stomach that made it feel strangely warm. It isn't desire exactly. It's more like protectiveness. It feels as though he has a duty to erase the demons that seem to be trying to pick her apart. He can't understand why he feels that all of a sudden. He wracks his brain, trying to understand it.

A thought comes to him, one so scary he can feel his heart stutter in his chest. He was in love with her. It's the only explanation that makes sense. It brings conflicting emotions to him. On the one hand, it brings a sense of relief that there is, in fact, an explanation for that feeling. On the other, it brings him a sense of infuriation so great he nearly starts shaking. He never wanted to need someone. Needing someone was weakness, and he did his damndest to prove that he had none. But she had come into his life, and from day one had posed the potential for liability, and that had been disarming to him. Maybe that explained how she'd been able to slide her way under his skin, beneath all the barriers he'd kept around his emotions. But the fact was, she had gotten past his defenses, and had changed everything because of it.

He used to believe he could change the world as Kira on his own. He knows better now. She was and is a crucial part of his operation, and has proven her worth time and again. Her Shinigami Eyes had saved him countless times, and he had somebody who he could talk to about the burden he was bearing who really understood it, and wasn't patronizing about it like one expected a guidance counselor at a school to be. She has always been his biggest supporter, his biggest fan, and his greatest asset. But now, perhaps she can be more.

He had never played around with the idea of love. Sure, he'd kicked the concept around in his brain a few times, wondered what it meant, or what it felt like, but it had never come up as something he had pictured for himself. Now, however, he is beginning to reevaluate that. He knows Misa loves him. That's not even a question. And he thinks he might love her too. So what's to stop him from diving into this headfirst? He's kept up the facade around his family all this time. The only difference between that and now was that the emotions were faked or perfunctory rewards for doing what he wanted, rather than being genuine as they could be now. He could have a relationship and still become the God of the new world.

Misa can feel when his arms snake around her waist. Her body freezes under his hands in surprise. The feel of his hands doesn't surprise her- she's memorized the feeling so completely already- it's the fact that his hands are there at all. It most definitely isn't unwelcome, but it is confusing. She didn't think he cared that much. Still, she leans into the touch, lays her head against his chest, sniffling still, but comforted because she can hear the strong, steady beating of his heart. She knows he's probably just trying to help her calm down.

She was wrong.

He presses his lips to her forehead, despite the thin sheen of sweat still coating it. He could smell the scent of jasmine in her hair, and a very faint scent of Lillies coming from her skin. _Lotion_, he thinks, and wonders how he never noticed before. Her reaction is one he expected. She looks up at him, surprised but clearly pleased.

"I love you, Misa." He says. As soon as he says the words, he knows that he means them. They feel fitting, like a pair of pants that were tailored for him.

She knows he means them, too. She hadn't done anything to merit the words. He'd given them away, and held her of his volition. She smiles brightly, spirits lifting like a hot air balloon taking off from the ground and rising into the sky. She turns to him, wraps her arms around his neck.

"I love you, Light." She says back. Her eyes sparkle like stars with the moonlight coming in through the window. He leans into kiss her, and their lips meet in an intimate kiss, full of Light's revelation and Misa's relief.

When their lips part, they smile at one another.

She isn't alone anymore.


End file.
